ghivashels:

colinmorgasms:

what if obama does the ice bucket challenge and nominates queen elizabeth

what if obama actually talks about what’s going on in ferguson

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 114,464 notes via/source
reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 59,040 notes via/source
fowllanguagecomics:

See the BONUS PANEL here!
Fowl Language Comics by Brian Gordon[website | tumblr | facebook]

fowllanguagecomics:

See the BONUS PANEL here!

Fowl Language Comics by Brian Gordon
[website | tumblr | facebook]

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 7,892 notes via/source

a-pedophile-potato:

weedjoke420:

one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared

A deeply touching story

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 283,977 notes via/source

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 91,630 notes via/source
reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 249,032 notes via/source

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 415,188 notes via/source
reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 139,152 notes via/source

iguanamouth:

youre gonna look so godamn cool

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 263,084 notes via/source

aglynny:

thebobblehat:

showblacksandbackstageblues:

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Odd Romeo and Juliet Tumblr Posts

The doge one kills me.

"What if he’s Romeo and you’re not his Juliet?"

"Then you’re Rosaline and you survive the fucking play."

That one wins.

I lost it at the iPhone thing

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 119,175 notes via/source

fvming:

What did the kidney say to the other kidney?

I’m stoned

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 8,993 notes via/source

dokibots:

haha! have fun at highschool today NERDS. i’m gonna be doing cool ADULT stuff like sleeping WHENEVER i want and CRYING 

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 71,808 notes via/source

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in…
reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 286,728 notes via/source

spoken-not-written:

renaroo123:

spoken-not-written:

I WAS TAKING A SELFIE AND WAS GONNA MAKE A TEXT POST SAYING HI I’M PETER PAN BUT MY GRANDMA SAW ME AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED AND THIS HAPPENED

image

Jake that’s a pot…

You’re a pot.

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 115,002 notes via/source

madeagoestohell:

i wonder if anyone has ever peed in the olympic pool

reblogged 13 hours ago @ 20 Aug 2014 with 353,676 notes via/source